Why I Shouldn’t Be Left Alone with Technology
Let me begin by saying: I love technology. I do. I cherish my phone like it’s my soulmate and treat my Wi-Fi router like royalty (because, let’s face it, without it I’m just a very sad potato). But despite this affection, technology and I have a toxic relationship. Here's how:
1. The Great Microwave Disaster
One time, I tried to microwave tea. Simple, right? WRONG. I set the timer for 10:00, thinking it was 10 seconds. Fun fact: that’s 10 minutes. Long story short, I created a tiny volcanic eruption in my kitchen. The microwave still smells like regret and burnt dreams.
2. The Mysterious Caps Lock
For weeks, I thought my keyboard was broken because everything I typed came out in CAPITAL LETTERS. I even wrote an emotional email to customer support in ALL CAPS. They responded with one line:
"Please turn off your Caps Lock."
They didn’t even say "Regards."
3. Online Shopping Misadventures
I once ordered a hoodie online that was labeled “oversized.” What they didn’t mention was that it was sized for a grizzly bear on protein shakes. I wore it once. My neighbor asked if I was moving out wrapped in a blanket.
4. Video Calls: The Humble Humiliation
There’s always that one moment during a Zoom call when you think your mic is muted… but it isn’t. I once ranted about my group mates on the call with my group mates. Silence. Judgement. Awkwardness. I am now the proud owner of anxiety and a mute button obsession.
5. The Smartwatch That’s Smarter Than Me
My smartwatch constantly reminds me to “stand up” every hour. One day, it said I had walked 4 steps. I had actually fallen off the bed and crawled to the fridge. Apparently, fitness now includes emotional crawling.
Moral of the Story?
Technology is amazing. But in the wrong hands (read: my hands), it turns into a tragic comedy. If you've ever taken a selfie with your phone’s flashlight on or asked Siri to marry you out of loneliness, welcome to the club.
You're not alone. We're all one wrong click away from chaos.
💬 Comment below:
What’s your funniest tech fail? Let’s laugh at our shared pain! 😂
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